Interviewing for the following position: Employer

Following is a list of questions I drafted for interviewing prospective employers:

*What are your qualifications as an employer?
*How many have you employed in the past five years?
*What has been your turnover rate in the past five years?
*Are you continuously marketing yourself to new Clients?
*Do you know what the internet is?
*Are you on electronic mail, or are you on email?
*Do you know what social media is, and if so, do you use it?
*Can you list 3 social media platforms?
*Do you pay your employees and your interns?
*Do you offer benefits outside the normal list (i.e. medical, dental, 401k matching, etc.)?
*How many hours per week will be you working?
*Do you intend to be available during those hours?
*Do you honor an open-door policy of communication?
*What has been your experience with improvements suggested by your current or previous Staff?
*Do you view change as a threat or as an asset?
*Would you say you like to operate with the financial ethics of company like Enron? If yes, please explain.
*How valuable is graphic design to you?
*Do you encourage learning and growth? If yes, do you encourage it while an employee is “on the clock”?
*Do you see the economic recession as an opportunity to cut jobs and increase profit, or to increase job opportunities and moderate profit?
*How would you characterize your strengths? Weaknesses?
*Does Michael Scott work with you? Does Dwight Schrute work with you?
*Is the younger generation a toxin to our country, or a group of prospective workers with new ideas and approaches to age-old problems?
*Do you like to doodle during meetings?
*Do you offer coffee? Do you call expresso or espresso? Is Starbucks a company or a character in Moby Dick?
*Do you believe in vacation time? Have you ever taken it?
*Are you a strong communicator? Are you better at talking or listening?
*How many meetings per day or week would you say you average? How many do you prompt?
*Do you pay people to do work for you or do you pay people to pursue a career with you?
*Are you helping your employees pursue their passions, or do you like for individuals to remain fixed in positions for life?
*What is the difference between your company and a prison?
*Do you believe that socializing at work helps strengthen bonds between employees, or do you believe the socializing at work is a form of time theft?
*Would you willingly relinquish your position as employer if you felt there was a candidate within the company that might have more prosperous ideas to bring the company into a new era?
*Has an employee ever farted in front of you? What was your reaction?
*Do you believe that artificial intelligence represents a threat to mankind at large?
*What is the Matrix?
*If your company had a potluck, what would you bring?
*How many times a day would you say you smile?
*Have you ever fired a Client?
*Do you have a family? If yes, how well do you know them?

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